and I've noticed something: I need to post more often!
The purpose of this blog has always been to document my adventures as an artist. Lately I've been posting finished projects, and writing personal updates every 2-3 months. That's not enough!
I forget to comment on the days, like today, when I do nothing creative, and then feel horrible for doing nothing! Many of my days are spent like this... blocked and creating nothing!
I can't, in good conscience, write a blog about creative life without mentioning these uninspired days! My uninspired days are, undoubtably, similar to those of other artists. I want to share my experiences, in case you can relate. I know I'm not alone in this!
I put a lot of pressure on myself to create: especially now that arts and crafts are my only source of income (and so far I've sold nothing). The pressure can be intense, and intimidating! So intimidating that, even on days when I am feeling inspired, the pressure to "get it right the first time" keeps me from starting or finishing projects.
For some reason, I must have something physically accomplished every day, or else I feel useless. This isn't practical; it adds to the pressure, and distracts me from spending time thinking about projects, which is an extremely important part of the creative process!
Most of my illustrations are inspired by times when I've sat, alone in the dark, listening to music. But, I can't remember the last time I've spent an evening doing that! Instead, I'm up late at night, staring at blank documents, expecting something to appear... or reworking the shit out of ideas I've found successful in the past.
My creative goals are often too strict. I try to complete illustrations in one sitting, scared that my inspiration will have moved on by morning. It adds to the pressure, and results in work that looks rushed, incomplete, or uninspired.
So, that's a quick glimpse at the challenges I face on my "darker days." It's a dangerous cycle I get caught in regularly. It's triggered by a number of things, and does go away at times. Also, it's not impossible to create around these problems; the pressure may be there, but some days it's easier to ignore it.
I'm glad I decided to write about this topic. I believe the solution starts with allowing myself to relax! I've been learning how to not be a perfectionist, and embrace flaws (not just art that looks flawed on purpose – real flaws). I'm less concerned about impressing people; I am out to impress myself.
A new me is on the horizon! A better, more inspired me. It's time to focus on myself; mentally, physically and creatively.
